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Wednesday, August 1st, 2012
3:09 am - Hard to hold, cold to touch, fall to pieces, treat the rush in hindsight...
It seems like some people keep a journal here! I came to find some long lost pictures, but I've had no luck.

My last entry seemed to be right before I went back to school. As his future self, I will give him an update about the coming 3 years.

First of all, you will rock at computer science. Somehow you managed to get on the dean's list every single semester and will rake in a few scholarships along the way. You pulled ahead of almost everyone in your class and helped a few people on the way. Surprising, isn't it considering your were usually getting 60-70 all of your life. I guess is actually pretty easy when you care about it. You know those horrible jobs you've had dealing with customers or repetitive data entry? NO MORE. The last couple of years I have been programming and it is SOO much more interesting and rewarding.

However you pretty much gave up piano. I think your were working on While Your Lips are still Red... yeah, I still don't know it. You have not lost it all but I have squandered all of that hard work you put it. Sorry, just no time for it. Those pianos are still sitting there and perhaps I will sit at them again to play. You were certainly a better person then I for keeping it up for so long.

You meet new friend along the way, many that are MUCH younger then you since you got to a career decision so late. All good, they made school fun and memorable. I had to be hard on some that looked like they were wasting their time here. Perhaps some feelings were hurt but I think they ended up better for it in the end. Many are a year or more behind, but at least they did not drop out completely.

You will hear much less from the people you know now. You know how it goes, they get involved in new people and work and simply drift away. it happens slowly in steps: First you see that you simply don't go out to see them often, then chatting and commenting also slows down. At this point it is noticeable and you try to set up dates to dinners and movies or just hang out, but they usually get canceled at the last minute and then the indefinite busy. You are still connected to them through Facebook and such (yeah, thats still going strong) but sad truth is that they are not the same people. BTW Neither am I.

You will be happy to hear that you still don't drink. Beer still smells like piss and amount of money you saved not "getting shit-faced" probably was used to sustain your rental agreement and tuition while no working during school. You got drunk once in Germany though, but it's ok, nothing happened. Err... or did I do it all wrong?

You also still don't drive. Good, because your environmental footprint is thus lesser then that of most Canadians. In any case, people seem to use them as a crutch. My health and shape is relatively good, considering I sit in-front of a computer 50% of my day. Yeah... all those fresh from high school friend you got? You outperform them in everything at the gym! Lazy bums >:D

I'm not sure If I eased the decision you made or freaked you out. There is good and bad news here and I will be honest, I envy you in many ways. You were artistic and interesting. Obviously you don't even have much to say in a journal, or Facebook. I hope the guy from 3 years in the future has better things to say to me.

OH and this is important. FFXIII just sucked. Don't get it, it will destroy your last shred of childhood.

current mood: blank

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Friday, March 13th, 2009
4:29 am - Bad day, I say "C'est bon"
Last updated 100 weeks ago!
I'll leave it at that. Most of the people I've LJed with do not use it anymore. But I still read everyday for those of you that do.
I would not think to share so much with about my life to the general public. I hear how it causes trouble at times as two of you recently told me. Yes you can select an limited audience... but that seems to cause even more trouble if it gets out, right?

Here's what's new with me:

Work life sucks, I'm going to school. An ever-changing environment is important and this comfy decent job does not provide that. Will this always be an issue? I hope so.

Music life is still in me. I won't give this up and do not regret the amount of time and money invested. I've expanded to some synthy music since I've got a Nord Wave. I'm also looking into organ, anyone know any good pieces I could try?
I wish I could sing :/

Social life: I wish everyone I know here would find more time to hang out. Yeah everyone is busy with work or whatever, and it seems that it will always be like that. Is that that okay? From now till you die? Our older counterparts have fewer friends and I can see why. Please try harder for everyone in your life. And LJ, MSN and Facebook is not enough.

Love life: Lots of short term stuff only. My heart's not in it.

Parklife: Is a blur song. I have been into UK music recently. Checked out John Lennon last... hmm... I find it over-hyped?

current mood: listless

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Thursday, April 12th, 2007
1:21 am - There's no lie that has saved me from pain... You'd have me endure it again and again
Toyoko wont take my reservation for my last week :/ server is down :/ for a few days now? :/
This will be a long month... I still have taxes to do? I need more dramas to pass the time >_

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Thursday, March 1st, 2007
12:27 am - Truly, there is joy that I want to feel
I am at the brink of tossing my relatively new PC off of the balcony of the place upstairs and buying a Mac just to spite it.

current mood: aggravated

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Saturday, February 10th, 2007
12:13 pm - I run a secret propaganda Aren't we all hiding pieces of broken anger
Dates are set for my trip ^_^ May 9th to June 10th. Shopping around saved me a whole grand o_o I don't know if the place I found was very cheap of if everyone else was a ripoff?
What? I cant book hotels until 2 month in advance? :/ Ill have to wait to plan things. Im arriving in Kansai and out from Narita, so I think I will be able to visit everyone ^_^
I turn 24 tomorrow... how old is that?
Thank you so much Clarice ^_^ After hours of browsing... I ended up picking Chihiro's My Armour ^__^
As for Karaoke on the long weekend, who is comming?
I am gonna try to learn Agitator >_< They better have it... most places do.

current mood: excited

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Sunday, January 28th, 2007
10:00 pm - You're the depths of my own kind And you're the heights of my creation
Comment on this entry and I will...

1) Tell you why I friended you
2) Associate you with a song/movie
3) Tell a random fact about you
4) Tell a first memory about you
5) Associate you with an animal/fruit
6) Ask something I've always wanted to know about you
7) Show you my favorite user pic of yours
8) In retort, you MUST spread this disease in your LJ

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Tuesday, January 9th, 2007
12:27 am - the dying moon compels the arrogant seas, the deathless 'me of me' caught up in the tease...
My weekend was pretty good. Luvly sushi dinner on Friday, lots of sleep on Saturday and skiing on Sunday... well skiing kinda sucked it was very very windy and therefore not so enjoyable :/
I hit my hand on a tree while zooming down a single path~ed forest trail :/ I still cant fully move it yet :/
Well i should start planning my May trip. I wish someone would come too :/ Though I really want to try not to have any English conversation for the duration :/ I need some good practice. Its likely I will need a credit card? I hope they are easily cancel~able afterwards if its needed... They just seem to complicate everyones life.
My parents are moving to Europe in just a few weeks... however there is a 4 day period where they will have to live here before they move :/ I can see it being a nightmare already... my mother will wipe my Motif's memory clean and My dad whipping both Wii Controllers at my Wii System :/
Who will come for Karaoke this upcoming weekend?

current mood: amused

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Monday, January 1st, 2007
11:55 pm - I love you, Chul-Soo~
2007 Already? Was I suppose to accomplish something by now? Everyone seems to be going in all directions. Some are in a hurry to get married and the usual events thereafter... others hope to make a certain salary figure by a certain age... Is that all it takes to make some people happy? is 23-24 really that old for some people?
If I am to review the past year I would say that I am very proud and think that I have completely found myself. Somewhat bold to say for something that most say is a life long journey... but why do people think its so hard?
Everyone knows their faults, their strengths and their own feelings about anything. If you can beat the faults out with honest effort and are willing to suffer for it... then it can be overcome. If you cant do that... then ask yourself why...
If its just laziness... then kick your own ass until you get off of it. A resolution for a new year wont change a thing. If something needs to be done or changed it should start the moment you see the problem... yuh, the year before was procrasination.
Then there are fault's you actually DON'T want to change about yourself. Just accept it as your own characteristic! Just be honest about yourself and don't change something just for everyone else's sake if its not in you to change yourself.
My goals are the very same as those I've had for the past 2 years. So I must have found something, huh?
Everyone should get this Music Video ^__^ It has amused me for 3 whole days ^___^

current mood: thankful

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Monday, October 23rd, 2006
10:09 pm - Komm in mein Boot... der Herbstwind hält die Segel straff...
Nothing too new. Are there any plans for halloween? We should not skip out on such a day >_< Whos up for something?

current mood: drained

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Sunday, September 10th, 2006
1:31 am - h h h h
I've been without internet for about 3 weeks now, and I falt very disconnected. though latly I have been updating lj around once a month, i certainly check it every day at least a few times. Soo... whats new?
I should start planning on my trip to Japan. I most decided that I most certainly must go.
My new place is small but nice. The old house felt like it was just falling apart, so this is a better deal.

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Wednesday, August 23rd, 2006
8:31 pm - No One Gets Away, No One Tries
To sum up the past months: I have been looking for a place to live because my parents are selling the house. This has been of course impossible...
But in any case I am moving out with my little bro to an apartment neat heritage... so all is good. My little bro has been gone for a month and I was living completely alone and I must say... I miss it :/ Living away from parents this past year somehow made me a clean freak? or just conscience... It now annoys me to hell having my bro back and leaving messes >__< Id prolly live alone if it wasnt so damn expensive...
Work is the same... I hate working most of the day, but am greatfull what I have pays well and is very easy and I can just listen to music all day >_< and half my co-workers are deserving to be fired for half a year now... so it feels very secure. nonetheless working in an office for the rest of my life is NOT for me.
I have packed 2 boxes so far, that which I consider to be most important. Its all stuff I havnt looked at for ages but need to have. Art given to me in highschool, pictures and books from half a decade ago. Even a mysterious blue floppy diskette who's content I've forgotten. I've had such good friendships long ago, and theres no denying that they are so much lesser now. But this is true with everyone as they grow through this part of life. Ive been very pessimistic most of my life becuase of how I saw adults live...
No, it does not look any brighter the closer I get.
XenoSaga III is comming out in a few days and I cannot wait to indulge into that ^__^ I really want to hear the soundtrack >___<
I have a large sum of money saved up that was meant for a month excursion to Japan. But Maybe its better to not work for perhaps 3 months and sit infront of my Motif during that time. Then again... I did promise Barbara and being lost in such a densely populated and beautiful place is some of the most fun one can have ^__^ Maybe I can see Iori and Kana again? Maybe this is the last opportunity to go there that I will ever have? But to not see my GF and play piano for a month? Lipton Milk Tea ;___;

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Sunday, June 18th, 2006
10:32 pm - ~~~~~~~
Just An update to inform everyone that I am still alive. All is well and am happy.
Writing is a snail
Work is an ipod playlist
Summer is today and ever comming

Im so disconnected form the world, I have no idea what movies are playing, who finally released their new album, who america is conquring, and where my friends are now. but its ok cuz im in a much smaller world and its much easier to take care of everything.
I do have to move out in a few weeks X_X it seems finding a place in Calgary is very difficult this year... My parents somehow amassed a HUGE debt throughout their lives that we just a few months ago found out about... They need to sell our house that my brothers and I live in... Thats ok... but they are really trying to drag us into it... I knida just want to cut loose... They can move to Europe, Ill be here and we can write letters every once in a while...
Is that wrong? Sound cruel?

current mood: loved

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Thursday, April 13th, 2006
9:40 pm - ~doubt, doubt, Doubt You~

current mood: sad

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Sunday, April 9th, 2006
11:03 pm - On top of the world you get nothing done
May as well update this month too.
doing another 6 months at Bell... if it lasts that long. Things are not going well and we are doing things in a quick and messy way starting tomorrow to catch up. Should be interesting... but im not surprised we ended up here... stand up and your guaranteed to see half the people watching movies on their computers instead of working. Its sad how little i feel im doing/ care about work, and yet, im somehow doing more... Then again I dont have friends there or talk to anyone... so theres nothing to do but work and listen to music.
I went a a mini cd spree last week. I caught up on kmfdm, vnv and placebo. Placebo's new cd just came out. Its the best theyve done and just awsome. After all bands relasing horrible albums of late, im glad not all are lost. Everyone get Meds! but perhaps download it. It cannot be ripped by any method I know... I had to record it to get it onto my ipod :/ gasp?!!?!? does this mean record that labels in even the slightest have damaged piracy?!?!?!? nono downloads can be found everywhere (please visit your local bit torrent)... its just the people buying the cd that need to worry of these protections X_x
Other then that its all the same. anyone want to see a movie over the weekend? i get friday off cuz christians rule the work world ^___^
Im nearly done learning Boarderline, and am picking up nephilim and think i can take on one more of the next few months. any reccomendation? something harder but not insane/classic >_<
As usually nothing original done.

current mood: blank

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Sunday, March 19th, 2006
10:58 pm - Doctors looking down at me, breaking every law of science... How'd I ever end up here?
Over a month since the last update. Whats there to write about? Im half awake from 5-7 and do nothing worth talking about. Work was ok until I got my synth... now its annoying and in the way of my life. Im not working for anything... i have no use for the money I have now... clothes? games? electronics? better food? In the end im not happy waking up anyday. Days are spent for months to come. Im suppose to be sitting infront of a keyboard composing 8 hours a day. After sitting infront of a computer for 8 hours, i dont want to be sitting anywhere anymore. I sometimes go running for my break cuz the stillness is draining.
And I will resign for another months. Why? Cause I have to. I will not find a part time job that will feed the bills. My lil bro has 2 part time jobs and is not doing too well. And you expect me to do this all my life? I find older people to be twisted by it. No spark anymore... over indulge and lack any care at all.
I will live as I do now for 6 months. Ill trip to tokyo after that I think. I would hope things to be created and things to change by then. To much is left to everyone elses control :/

current mood: pessimistic

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Monday, February 13th, 2006
I turned 23 over the weekend. If you think thats old, then just you wait!
Had a great time, hung out with friends, saw a movie for the first time in months, Ordered in my MOTIF! and scored the debut chibomatto cd ^__^
I cant wait for the next weekend... but its still monday.

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Monday, January 30th, 2006
10:57 am - 嘘の間を泳ぐ
Updating for the sake of updating.

current mood: blank

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Sunday, January 8th, 2006
9:57 pm - ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
I saw cable today for the first time in months (besides at Kc's) and I can see im not missing much X_X i thought the whole reality tv thing would be over... oh and gambling is now an official sport appently... However, drawn together is kinda funny ^_^ Its one of those things that can destroy tasha ^___^
Jess, thanx for milk tea, ring and game >_< wah why cant Lipton just sell it here X_______X

current mood: calm

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Wednesday, January 4th, 2006
10:53 pm - Talking trash to the garbage around you...
Holidays are over and only work in the horizon :/ New Years was fun, we should hang out more.

I dont like living here :/ My bros and room mate are all careless and lazy. they dont clean aftr themselves, dont think about the things they do and over all just dont really care -_- This place may burn down, fall apart, get robbed or something due to stupid mistakes. -_-
Life seems messy at the moment...
Amy! I got the package ^_^ thank you so much. I love it

current mood: tired

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Tuesday, December 27th, 2005
12:31 am - Siren, then silence
Merry Christmas everyone.
Mine was both good and bad. Im ready for a new year.
Time from work is nice!
Iori email really brightened things up.
I finished hana yori dango today. I think it went down hill since they brought the story from the school, I didnt even want to see the last one, but it was ok.
Found some new songs to listen to.
I got expensive wireless headphones, iroiro gift certifcates. I bought 2 gorillaz cds (yuh and sadly i didnt think of any other cd to buy there...)

current mood: artistic

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